There is something iconic, and a little bit nostalgic, about the classic image of a husband and wife choosing their cemetery plots together—holding hands, planning to be together always, even after their deaths. And while the idea of discussing our own mortality isn’t always appealing, planning for what will happen upon your death can be oddly comforting.
Dan Schaefer serves as the Advanced Planning Consultant at the Centralia-based Sticklin Funeral Chapel. The century-old local business meets the end-of-life needs of Lewis County’s residents and Schaefer partners with the group in a unique way.
Schaefer was born and raised in Chehalis and is a W.F. West High School graduate. He left Lewis County to attend Bible college and pastored throughout the Northwest for 26 years. In 2007, he and his wife moved back to Chehalis and he knew he was home. He joined the staff at Bethel Church where he serves as a part-time pastor and in 2008 joined the staff at Sticklin Funeral Home, helping people understand and navigate end-of-life planning.
“I have two roles in my job,” shares Schaefer. “One is to provide grief support and counseling for families when they have lost someone.” He offers support materials as well as methods to nurture themselves during a time when many people are running on adrenaline alone. “I try to empower them with strategies and support to get through this difficult time,” he explains.
While this role is important, it’s a small part of his job. His primary role is as the Advanced Planning Consultant. What does that mean? “I assist people with a small portion of their estate planning involving cremation or burial plans,” Schaefer explains. In this role, he facilitates communication about this often uncomfortable topic, asks questions to help people clarify their wishes, and explains options so they are educated on what their choices are and what expected costs will be.
“The fun part of my job is I get to sit down with a couple while they are still healthy and talk about what they want,” says Schaefer. “I explain how they can protect their children from the confusion and financial hardship that often comes at the time of death when no pre-planning has been done.”
His meetings are typically informal get-togethers, usually over dinner at the kitchen table (he always brings dinner, too) where they can simply talk about their life and how they want to plan for a graceful end.
“Sitting together in someone’s kitchen, talking over a meal, takes some of the anxiety away from talking about an unpleasant topic,” he explains. No one really wants to talk about their own death, but it is the one thing we know with certainty will happen. While you cannot control the time and place, you can plan ahead to smooth the transition for those left behind.
“It gives me great satisfaction when someone comes in, maybe a son or daughter, and we can say, ‘You don’t have to worry about this. Your loved one took care of everything. You can go be with your family.’ It’s really the last gift you can give to those you love,” shares Schaefer.
But how do you plan for something you can’t control and don’t know when and how it will occur? Schaefer shares how the planning can be specific or general, but ultimately helps guide the financial decisions about how much to put aside to ensure the costs are covered, no matter the circumstances. Often people ask why they can’t simply leave money in their estate to be used for final expenses. Schaefer explains how that money is accessible for long-term care and health expenses that none of us can predict. By placing it in a separate fund, it protects it from use and ensures it will be there at the end.
Through pre-planning, he shares, you give your family the flexibility to make choices based on the needs at the time of death and not be restricted by financial limits. “It’s a relief to families when they can honor the clear, planned wishes of the deceased and we try and help do that the best we can,” he says.
Dan Schaefer’s roots are in this community and he loves being able to give back in different ways to his home. “To serve this community is an extension of my pastor’s heart,” he says. “It’s why I get such great satisfaction from what I do.”
To learn more about pre-planning services with Dan Schaefer, contact Sticklin Funeral Chapel at 360-736-1388.
Sticklin Funeral Chapel
1437 South Gold
Centralia, WA
360-736-1388
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